my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize