oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
worst night to have a conscience
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
