areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
