Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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