did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
