I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
