its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
