No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
