You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
