he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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