i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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