i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
