I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
