His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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