Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
