as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
