I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
