New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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