Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
