The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize