So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
