on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
being pregnant is like rehab
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
whose parrot is this?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize