Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
