I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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