420 ftw
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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