Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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