Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
