good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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