Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
