I can tuck mytits in my pants
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
