My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize