I wannas sexs uuuuu
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
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