I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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