I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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