awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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