I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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