I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
