Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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