worst night to have a conscience
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
