don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
