WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
