Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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