it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
