i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
