Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize