I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
