The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
