the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
