There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
