Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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