I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
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