There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
