i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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