I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Panties = found
Randomize
