I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
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