that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
