i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
