i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
