There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
