oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize