He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
