Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
