how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize