Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
