I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize