oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
