is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
