Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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