I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
