oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
