speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
