I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
