Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize