Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
