so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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