well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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