dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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